Gail (bandvamp01) wrote,
Gail
bandvamp01

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Uwe Boll

You all NEED to watch every movie by this man EVER, because each one is a huge crapfest that is crappier than his last pile of crap. They're SO bad that they're friggin' hilarious. I'm pretty sure that's the ONLY way this guy is able to keep making these doo-piles, because they're SO DAMN FUNNY.



2 of the best quotes EVER, from "House of the Dead":
1. Alicia: "Guys, check out this book. Looks pretty old, maybe it'll help us!"

2. Rudy: "You did all this to become immortal. Why?"
Castillo: "To live forever!"


ADDED BONUS: Uwe Boll directs some of THE MOST AWKWARD SEX SCENES EVER FILMED.

"Alone in the Dark": Christian Slater + Tara Reid = CREEPY! SO CREEPY!

"Bloodrayne": Guy + Girl from Terminator 3: FRIGHTENINGLY AWKWARD! The boob-lickage SCARRED ME FOR LIFE.

Also! Meatloaf with a harem: REVOLTING! It's like this: think about your grandpa surrounded by/licking nekkid women. YES the scene will make you want to THROW UP just as much!

So, in conclusion, demand the following films from your local BlockBuster employees:
Blackwoods
Alone in the Dark
Bloodrayne
House of the Dead

Now sit back and enjoy the unintended hilarity. Whatever, Gandalf!
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