2 of the best quotes EVER, from "House of the Dead":
1. Alicia: "Guys, check out this book. Looks pretty old, maybe it'll help us!"
2. Rudy: "You did all this to become immortal. Why?"
Castillo: "To live forever!"
ADDED BONUS: Uwe Boll directs some of THE MOST AWKWARD SEX SCENES EVER FILMED.
"Alone in the Dark": Christian Slater + Tara Reid = CREEPY! SO CREEPY!
"Bloodrayne": Guy + Girl from Terminator 3: FRIGHTENINGLY AWKWARD! The boob-lickage SCARRED ME FOR LIFE.
Also! Meatloaf with a harem: REVOLTING! It's like this: think about your grandpa surrounded by/licking nekkid women. YES the scene will make you want to THROW UP just as much!
So, in conclusion, demand the following films from your local BlockBuster employees:
Alone in the Dark
House of the Dead
Now sit back and enjoy the unintended hilarity. Whatever, Gandalf!