Gail (bandvamp01) wrote,
Gail
bandvamp01

Am I gonna turn left or right?

Sometimes I think my brother really has smoked himself stupid...

Johnny just called home 'cuz he's lost over in Roswell and needed directions home. I SUCK with directions. However, I have the Awesome Power of Mapquest! So, here's wha happened...

G: Me
J: Johnny

J: Yeah, so I'm lost. I'm over on Holcomb Bridge Road. I think I got on 400.
G: Ok, gimme an address that's right there and I'll look it up on mapquest.
J: *Number* Holcomb Bridge Road. Give me direstions back on Holcomb Bridge Road- I don't want to get back on 400.
G: *MAPQUESTIN' IT UP* Oh! Ok, I see where that is. You're in a big shopping center, right?
J: Uhhh.. yeah. There's a Publix and a BK and.. uhh.. stuff.
G: Ok, I don't know *exactly* where you are, but I know that area- I got way lost on Holcomb Bridge Road a long long time ago. Ok, here's what you're gonna do- get back on Holcomb Bridge Road--
J: Can you give me step-by-step instructions?
G:...Yeah, okay. *MAPQUESTIN' LIKE A MOFO*
J: Ok, I'm gonna drive around.
G: NO! Stay put!
J: I'm gonna find a better address. Plus, I need gas. I'm going to go to that BP over there.
G: Wait! Wait until I give you directions! Ok, do you have a pen?
J: Hang on, I'm driving. Ok, wait. Is there a pen in the Jeep?
G: How should I know? Just pull over and write this down.
J: Ok, wait- I'm at the BP. Let me find an address number for you... ... Ok, I can't find one. But it's at a BP.
G: *sigh* Look, do you have a pen and paper?
J: Yeah.
G: Ok, you know that big shopping center you were at?
J: Yeah.
G: Ok, you're going to turn onto Holcomb Bridge Road so that big shopping center is on your RIGHT. Get it?
J: Am I gonna turn left or right?
G: How the hell should I know? You moved. But it doesn't matter- just keep the shopping center on your right.
J: So.. when I come out of the BP, which way am I going to turn?
G: I. Don't. Know. Just turn so that the shopping center is on your right!
J: Is that left or right?
G: I DON'T KNOW! It doesn't matter to me! It's not important! The IMPORTANT part is KEEPING the huge shopping center ON YOUR RIGHT!
J: So that's... uhhh... on the right?
G: LISTEN! Imagine you are standing in the middle of Holcomb Bridge Road. Right in the middle. On the yellow line. Now, when you're standing there, the shopping center will be on your right-hand side. When you are in the car, the shopping center will be on the right hand side of the car. If you were to drive past the shopping center THAT YOU WERE JUST AT, it would be on YOUR RIGHT SIDE AS YOU PASS IT.
J: ... ... Ohhhhh! SO I just drive by with the shopping center on my right side!
G: YES!!
J: Oh! Okay. Then what?
G: *Gives rest of directions with a little less trouble.*

I really, really hope he wasn't stoned.
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